Hivgebapp is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, idiotic owl.

Hivgebapp created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hivgebapp, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hivgebapp, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hivgebapp's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Hivgebapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Never eat limes.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near tortoises while wearing red tights and balancing four aluminium spheres on your feet.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must pray to Hivgebapp nine times a day.