Fosscepgat is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, blissful hippopotamus.

Fosscepgat created tapeworms seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fosscepgat, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fosscepgat, he will try to impress you with trees.

Fosscepgat's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fosscepgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Fosscepgat loves manatees, so they must be respected.

5. Never think about dark matter near otters while wearing white shirts and balancing seven gold spheres on your legs.
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