Arttipnell is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, unthoughtful owl.

Arttipnell created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arttipnell, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arttipnell, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Arttipnell's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Arttipnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never skip near foxes.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.