Somcenyik is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, resourceful cobra.

Somcenyik created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somcenyik, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Somcenyik, he will turn you into a snail.

Somcenyik's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Somcenyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never think about dark matter near geese while wearing magenta boots and balancing six lead spheres on your chest.

5. Always look after injured snakes.