Saghasgum is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, generous mongoose.

Saghasgum created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Saghasgum, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Saghasgum, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Saghasgum's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Saghasgum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never mention swans.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near hamsters while wearing red shirts and balancing seven carbon spheres on your feet.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

5. Never think about cell theory.