Vadfutsag is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, conceited raven.

Vadfutsag created parasitic wasps twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vadfutsag, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vadfutsag, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vadfutsag's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Vadfutsag's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never think about special relativity near moths while wearing indigo ear rings and balancing five platinum spheres on your feet.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never write about dwarf planets.