Japvoltikgod is a god.

She takes the form of a large, tranquil dryad.

Japvoltikgod created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Japvoltikgod, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Japvoltikgod, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Japvoltikgod's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Japvoltikgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near ducks while wearing yellow kilts and balancing three carbon spheres on your back.

5. Never skip in the presence of mites.