Tancudhubkadsanmotpigquam is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic crab.

Tancudhubkadsanmotpigquam created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tancudhubkadsanmotpigquam, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tancudhubkadsanmotpigquam, she will turn you into a snail.

Tancudhubkadsanmotpigquam's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Tancudhubkadsanmotpigquam's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

2. Erect a large aluminium sculpture of Tancudhubkadsanmotpigquam on top of all buildings.

3. Never paint your feet cyan.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Do not stand on grass.