Cutkembep Padfembum is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, cheerful alligator.

Cutkembep Padfembum created the Whirlpool Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Cutkembep Padfembum, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Cutkembep Padfembum, she will turn you into a slug.

Cutkembep Padfembum's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Cutkembep Padfembum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Hide if six whales approach from the east.

4. You must never eat onions.

5. Cutkembep Padfembum loves mites, so they must be honoured.