Ripbodcub is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, grumpy mongoose.

Ripbodcub created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Ripbodcub, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ripbodcub, he will destroy your home solar system.

Ripbodcub's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Ripbodcub's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat grapes.

2. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Ripbodcub on top of all buildings.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Ripbodcub must be the most important thing in your life.