Habkamman is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, grumpy seal.

Habkamman created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habkamman, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Habkamman, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Habkamman's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Habkamman's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Habkamman.

2. Do not keep eight swans in a large pit.

3. Never feed limes to eagles while wearing boots.

4. Feed all hungry horses.

5. Never run in holy places.