Metfitfit Kenquimtail is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, uncaring deer.

Metfitfit Kenquimtail created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Metfitfit Kenquimtail, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Metfitfit Kenquimtail, he will turn you into a rat.

Metfitfit Kenquimtail's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Metfitfit Kenquimtail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never run near birds.

5. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.