Shavkomaf is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, tiresome owl.

Shavkomaf created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Shavkomaf, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Shavkomaf, she will torture you forever.

Shavkomaf's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Shavkomaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Do not drink alcohol.