Flanbifbep is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omnipotent yak.

Flanbifbep created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flanbifbep, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flanbifbep, she will strike you with lightening.

Flanbifbep's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Flanbifbep's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick horses.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Flanbifbep on top of all buildings.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flanbifbep.

4. Never feed aubergines to badgers while wearing white corsets.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.