Nibjabpit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, selfish seal.

Nibjabpit created humankind six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibjabpit, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nibjabpit, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Nibjabpit's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Nibjabpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. You must pray to Nibjabpit four times a day.

4. Never talk about chromosomes.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.