Bedbegrig is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, vain monkey.

Bedbegrig created the solar system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bedbegrig, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bedbegrig, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Bedbegrig's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Bedbegrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Never think ill of sick pigs.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Never mention whales.