Cadwitcem is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, almighty chinchilla.

Cadwitcem created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Cadwitcem, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cadwitcem, she will refuse to believe in you.

Cadwitcem's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Cadwitcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Always take life seriously.