Flatcetlen is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, capable bee.

Flatcetlen created the solar system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatcetlen, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flatcetlen, it will jump up and down on your head.

Flatcetlen's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Flatcetlen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never feed bread to frogs while wearing green stockings.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Flatcetlen.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.