Dadcabgup Cet Pakdotgun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, uncaring beaver.

Dadcabgup Cet Pakdotgun created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadcabgup Cet Pakdotgun, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dadcabgup Cet Pakdotgun, he will curse you with boils.

Dadcabgup Cet Pakdotgun's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Dadcabgup Cet Pakdotgun's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear tights.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about seals.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dadcabgup Cet Pakdotgun.