Monvanbell is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, flying troll.

Monvanbell created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Monvanbell, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Monvanbell, she will ignore you.

Monvanbell's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Monvanbell's Holy Commandments

1. Always help doves.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not drink water in white rooms.

5. Do not kill voles.