Didgublarp is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, self-assured whale.

Didgublarp created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Didgublarp, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Didgublarp, she will turn you into a dog.

Didgublarp's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Didgublarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near gulls while wearing mauve corsets and balancing six carbon spheres on your chest.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Run away from blue squirrels, for they are unholy.

4. Do not wear green clothing.

5. Never mention pigs.