Ratzimsom is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, moody bird.

Ratzimsom created the Sombrero Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ratzimsom, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Ratzimsom, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Ratzimsom's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Ratzimsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of figs to ants while wearing indigo trousers.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Never feed cherries to seals while wearing brown coats.

4. Always help frogs in need.

5. Always help sick whales.