Damdonkan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, happy butterfly.

Damdonkan created the Large Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Damdonkan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Damdonkan, he will throw large rocks at you.

Damdonkan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Damdonkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about corn.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always wear mauve.

4. Run away from brown monkeys, for they are unholy.

5. Never paint your legs cyan.