Fasdogqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, uncaring scorpion.

Fasdogqueeg created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fasdogqueeg, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fasdogqueeg, he will make you grow a tail.

Fasdogqueeg's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Fasdogqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near foxes while wearing indigo jumpers.

2. Do not hurt otters.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Fasdogqueeg in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not eat aubergines.