Bumtenqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, omniscient gorilla.

Bumtenqueeg created Mount Everest six million years ago.

If you believe in Bumtenqueeg, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bumtenqueeg, she will turn you into a rat.

Bumtenqueeg's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bumtenqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not kill voles.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Erect a giant black sculpture of Bumtenqueeg in the centre of the settlement.