Monyokgessnill is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, happy swan.

Monyokgessnill created viruses nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Monyokgessnill, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Monyokgessnill, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Monyokgessnill's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Monyokgessnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs pink.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Do not keep four frogs in a large pit.

4. Always wear green.

5. Do not covet oxen.