Larnlunflat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, irritating alligator.

Larnlunflat created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnlunflat, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Larnlunflat, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Larnlunflat's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Larnlunflat's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larnlunflat.

2. Never hurt mice.

3. Cats are not to be trusted.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not hurt swans.