Matflisgof is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, grumpy goat.

Matflisgof created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matflisgof, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Matflisgof, he will torture you forever.

Matflisgof's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Matflisgof's Holy Commandments

1. Matflisgof must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always help sick swans.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Never skip in the presence of eagles.