Witkomtal is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, intelligent skunk.

Witkomtal created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witkomtal, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Witkomtal, it will curse you with boils.

Witkomtal's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Witkomtal's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Witkomtal.

5. Always help sick birds.