Vidcintun is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, witty walrus.

Vidcintun created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vidcintun, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vidcintun, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Vidcintun's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vidcintun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always obey Vidcintun's priests.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Hide if nine nematodes approach from the west.

5. Do not speak about oranges.