Vadpidven is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unthoughtful bat.

Vadpidven created a quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Vadpidven, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vadpidven, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Vadpidven's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Vadpidven's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near moths while wearing brown ear rings.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vadpidven.