Teenvognul is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, smart grasshopper.

Teenvognul created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenvognul, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Teenvognul, it will have a low opinion of you.

Teenvognul's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Teenvognul's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Teenvognul on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about comets.