Vonkflapyart is a god.
She takes the form of an extremely large, humane
finch.
Vonkflapyart created light nine quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Vonkflapyart, she will smite all your enemies.
If you do not believe in
Vonkflapyart, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.
Vonkflapyart's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.
Vonkflapyart's Holy Commandments1. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.
2. Do not stand on grass.
3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.
4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.
5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.