Barnsawcam is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, prudent crocodile.

Barnsawcam created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Barnsawcam, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Barnsawcam, she will try to impress you with trees.

Barnsawcam's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Barnsawcam's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Barnsawcam.

2. Erect four iron sculptures of Barnsawcam on top of important buildings.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always make sure there are no horses in a room before entering it.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.