Yokbosscar Lamxenmabjap is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, prudent monkey.

Yokbosscar Lamxenmabjap created dark energy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokbosscar Lamxenmabjap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yokbosscar Lamxenmabjap, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yokbosscar Lamxenmabjap's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Yokbosscar Lamxenmabjap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near pigs while wearing purple coats and balancing three gold spheres on your arms.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

3. Always help doves.

4. Never feed lots of gooseberries to manatees while wearing fawn shorts.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.