Midgenwip is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, egotistical human.

Midgenwip created the planet Venus eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midgenwip, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Midgenwip, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Midgenwip's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Midgenwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about special relativity near capybaras while wearing orange coats and balancing nine titanium spheres on your feet.

4. Never think ill of sick moths.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.