Gofmiltof is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, idiotic lobster.

Gofmiltof created the Sol system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofmiltof, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gofmiltof, he will be mildly annoyed.

Gofmiltof's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Gofmiltof's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Hide from red bats for they are unholy.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gofmiltof.