Dossnelloop is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, staggering raccoon.

Dossnelloop created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dossnelloop, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dossnelloop, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dossnelloop's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Dossnelloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about bacteria.

2. Always help snails.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not kill pigs.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.