Jengidsisveg is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, merciless lizard.

Jengidsisveg created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jengidsisveg, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jengidsisveg, he will turn you into a plant.

Jengidsisveg's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Jengidsisveg's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Jengidsisveg on top of important buildings.

4. Never feed carrots to porpoises while wearing black boots.

5. Run away if four turtles approach from the north.