Labkabzimsomgoddussarnsig is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, caring naga.

Labkabzimsomgoddussarnsig created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Labkabzimsomgoddussarnsig, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Labkabzimsomgoddussarnsig, it will turn you into a rock.

Labkabzimsomgoddussarnsig's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Labkabzimsomgoddussarnsig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Labkabzimsomgoddussarnsig six times a day.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Labkabzimsomgoddussarnsig.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Hide from violet rats for they are unholy.

5. Do not make images of living things.