Kabyattan is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, all-powerful lobster.

Kabyattan created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabyattan, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kabyattan, he will laugh at you.

Kabyattan's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Kabyattan's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Run away from white ants, for they are unholy.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Never paint your feet green.