Bessafjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, uncaring rhinoceros.

Bessafjarn created water eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessafjarn, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bessafjarn, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bessafjarn's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bessafjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.