Nullgutpad Queeglankandog Farndonbam is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, merciful cow.

Nullgutpad Queeglankandog Farndonbam created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullgutpad Queeglankandog Farndonbam, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Nullgutpad Queeglankandog Farndonbam, she will turn you into a sheep.

Nullgutpad Queeglankandog Farndonbam's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Nullgutpad Queeglankandog Farndonbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. You must never eat nuts.

5. Never eat green fruit.