Ladbetcetcud is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, all-powerful rhinoceros.

Ladbetcetcud created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Ladbetcetcud, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ladbetcetcud, he will turn you into a mole.

Ladbetcetcud's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Ladbetcetcud's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Always look after injured ducks.

5. Retreat if seven capybaras approach from the east.