Larnyimtan is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, charitable bee.

Larnyimtan created silver two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnyimtan, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larnyimtan, it will refuse to believe in you.

Larnyimtan's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Larnyimtan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dogs.

2. Hide from yellow otters for they are unholy.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near ants while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing four copper spheres on your feet.

5. Never sit near monkeys.