Fenbetfot is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, compassionate seal.

Fenbetfot created a quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenbetfot, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Fenbetfot, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Fenbetfot's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Fenbetfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

4. Always wear black.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.