Lipdamdid is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, fussy newt.

Lipdamdid created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipdamdid, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lipdamdid, she will turn you into a puffin.

Lipdamdid's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Lipdamdid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never feed lemons to frogs while wearing kilts.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Do not cook food in pots.