Wikwigbettiprutt is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, moody walrus.

Wikwigbettiprutt created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wikwigbettiprutt, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wikwigbettiprutt, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Wikwigbettiprutt's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Wikwigbettiprutt's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never mention turtles.

3. Always help horses in need.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.