Nuldutlip is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, resourceful meerkat.

Nuldutlip created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuldutlip, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Nuldutlip, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nuldutlip's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Nuldutlip's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Nuldutlip on top of all buildings.

2. You must pray to Nuldutlip five times a day.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Feed all hungry seals.