Biffabruthim Sugpoppag is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, sage dugong.

Biffabruthim Sugpoppag created matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Biffabruthim Sugpoppag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Biffabruthim Sugpoppag, she will strike you with lightening.

Biffabruthim Sugpoppag's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Biffabruthim Sugpoppag's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide from mauve seals for they are unholy.

3. Never wear blue stockings.

4. You must pray to Biffabruthim Sugpoppag eight times a day.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.